History of the "Holy Crap on a Cracker! Bible"

In the beginning were the CDs.

During a 48 hour Myst marathon in 1993, it came to me in a Red Bull and Cheetos induced vision that parts of the “Holy Crap on a Cracker! Bible” were hidden on each of the CDs I received regularly in the mail from AOL. 

Over the course of several years in the mid to late ‘90s the bible was fully revealed to me. I discovered hidden code written on the AOL CDs delivered by the US Postal Service. The code was written in trinary and I was able to decompile the code on an old Epson computer that had been struck by lightning. After decompiling the entire "Holy Crap on a Cracker! Bible", I was able to read and commit the entire bible to my subconscious memory for later retrieval.

The HCC!Bible is yet another Testement of Iesus H. Christos (aka Jesus H.).  The HCC!Bible is a record of god's dealing with the inhabitants of modern America.  This holey text provides the context for many of the views held in America today.  It provides the foundation for understanding where the hypocritical BS so prevalent in America today comes from.  Seldom shared outside of specific religious and political circles, the HCC!Bible provides insight and understanding of the religious, social and political climate we find ourselves in.   

After committing the entire "Holy Crap on a Cracker! Bible" to my subconscious memory, the faithful Epson computer was struck by lightning again on December 31, 1999. The disk drive, memory and all circuit boards were damaged beyond repair and retrieval. After the third recovery attempt it ascended into the attic. 

Where are the original sacred CDs today?  Sometime in the early 2000’s after taking advice from one of those decluttering articles in a home magazine, I disposed of any boxes I had not opened in my last two moves. To my horror I have discovered that I disposed of the original AOL CDs containing the holey trinary code. (Never trust decluttering articles in home magazines. They are written by the devil.) 

Thankfully the entire “Holy Crap on a Cracker! Bible” is committed to my subconscious memory. I can retrieve versus verbatim using one of the following techniques: 

(1) staring at the snow pattern on an old tube tv. 

(2) watching Fox news. 

(3) when I see Facebook posts that are from zealots, bigots, hypocrites, intolerant and misogynist.

Here I will share those recovered versus.

I encourage others to share recovered versus from the Holy Crap on Cracker Bible.

I will share an email address to post your recovered verses for review (when I get around to it).  I got around to it - share at holycrapbible@gmail.com

May your crackers never be stale.

(And, one must always give credit to the Priestess Penny of the Big Bang Theory.  Hail Sheldon.  May your bazingas be plentiful.)